Not Here to Be Liked

This week I had a quiet revelation while encouraging a client through a rigorous circuit.

Halfway through, this client said “I don’t like you right now.” To be fair to them, they were hungover and we were squatting more than our usual weight.

Without a moment of thought, I replied, “That’s okay, I’m not here to be liked.”

I meant it literally, in that I was not being paid to be liked by this person. I was in their home to work through chronic pain, help them feel safe and stable enough to train under resistance and weight, and challenge them to continue doing so even when they fatigued or lost confidence. None of that hinged on my likeability - sure, it got me in the door, but the rest of it was dependent on my skills and my ability to solve their problem.

As I uttered it though, I started to think about it differently. I’m not here on this earth to be liked. I wasn’t born to contort and rearrange myself in order to be liked by everyone from cashiers to my accountant. I’m starting to realize the ways I’ve made myself small so as to be as universally palatable as possible. I think for a while I’ll be untangling my worth from needing to be liked.