Needing and Becoming

As a woman of a certain age, and in a long term relationship, I get asked a lot about when I’m getting married. I don’t want to get married ever, for a lot of reasons. But whenever I get asked, I feel like sending this poem “Bride” by Maggie Smith to the asker:

How long have I been wed
to myself? Calling myself

darling, dressing for my own
pleasure, each morning

choosing perfume to turn
me on. How long have I been

alone in this house but not
alone? Married less

to the man than to the woman
silvering with the mirror.

I know the kind of wife
I need and I become her:

the one who will leave
this earth at the same instant

I do. I am my own bride,
lifting the veil to see

my face. Darling, I say,
I have waited for you all my life.